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Funny Facebook statuses

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The news is basically just someone saying good evening and then giving you a list of reasons it’s not.
Status By: anonymous
Dad: "Where do you all want to eat?"
Kids: "We dont care dad, wherever you want to go"
Dad: "Fine, we are going home."
Status By: anonymous
Classic Dad
"thinking he has seen every tv show episode before even if it`s the premier episode of a brand new show"
Status By: anonymous
classical dad moves : Telling you not to do something then bragging about how cool it`s was in the 80`s
Status By: anonymous
Classic Dad Moves
Watching Star Wars with his children and telling them "I am your father "
Status By: anonymous
When you`ve been hiding something in your room and your mom says " I cleaned your room today.."
Status By: anonymous
Dating a person because of their looks is so shallow. Consider other things like , do they have alot of money.
Status By: anonymous
when people dont sit next to me on the bus: offended and relieved. when someone sits next to me: irritated yet flattered
Status By: anonymous
I wear all black to the gym.
its like i am attending a funeral for my fat.
Status By: Gaina Vie
The musicians at the Academy Awards should have played the “waking up” music from Inception when Leo won his Oscar, just to freak him out.
Status By: anonymous
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