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Funny Facebook statuses

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U never realize how dirty or bad a song is until u listen to it in the car with your mom
Status By: anonymous
LIKE IF: I don`t always carry all the groceries on one arm, but when I do...my keys are in the wrong pocket.
Status By: anonymous
A book just fell on my head. I`ve only got myshelf to blame.
Status By: anonymous
do u have those people that you’d go anywhere with unconditionally? like they could say “lets go check out that dumpster” & u’d be like “im in”
Status By: anonymous
“why”
"because i said so”
good one mom you should be a lawyer
Status By: anonymous
Spanish:
Mi papá tiene 47 años = my dad is 47 years old
Mi papa tiene 47 anos = my potato has 47 assholes
Status By: anonymous
Date someone who spoils you, always says how beautiful you are, and never thinks you`ve had enough to eat. Date your grandma.
Status By: anonymous
my mom likes to play this game called yell from four rooms away and get upset when I can’t hear her.
Status By: anonymous
I get jealous over the stupidest things sometimes.

Status By: anonymous
I think the guy who invented ties was trying to commit suicide then he saw himself in the mirror & thought... "Wait, this looks nice."..
Status By: anonymous
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