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Funny Facebook statuses
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Cop: "When is your birthday?" Me: " August 6." Cop: "What year?" Me: "Every year!" Cop: "Well played..."
Status By: anonymous
In a group picture, theres always a retard doing the peace sign.
Status By: anonymous
Me: "Need help with the dishes?" Mom: "Oh no thank you. I got this." *10 minutes later* Mom: "I swear I get no help around this house...!"
Status By: anonymous
"I live with no regrets." "No, you live with your parents..."
Status By: anonymous
"THIS IS THE POLICE! OPEN UP!" "Well, not with that attitude."
Status By: anonymous
Thick socks = 1% To be warm. 1% To be comfortable. 98% To slide across floor like a freaking ninja!
Status By: anonymous
Dear people of the world,
I don`t want to sound slutty but please use me whenever you want.
Sincerely,
Grammar
Status By: Ankita
I dig, you dig, we dig, he dig, she dig, they dig.... Its not a beautiful poem, but its very deep.
Status By: anonymous
If you were a dinosaur, you would be Bitch-A-Whoreus.
Status By: anonymous
"Ohh look this chair can spin." *5 minutes later* "OMG. SO. DIZZY"
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