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Funny Facebook statuses

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I`m great at remembering names. I just don`t remember which one`s yours. ツ
Status By: anonymous
A guy knocked on my door today asking for a donation for the local primary school`s swimming pool. I went away and came back with a cup of water... Is that wrong?
Status By: anonymous
I`ve said no to alcohol for years but it still won`t listen.
Status By: anonymous
I just read a list of `the 100 things to do before you die`. I`m pretty surprised `yell for help` wasn`t one of them...
Status By: anonymous
says people are always asking whats the meaning of life, why dont they just look it up in the dictionary. Duh!!!!
Status By: anonymous
I`m tired of chasing my dreams, I`m just going to ask them where their going and meet them there later.
Status By: anonymous
Is attempting to drown a fish,
this could take a while.
Status By: anonymous
says it`s been a rough day. I got up this morning .... put on a shirt and a button fell off. I picked up my briefcase and the handle came off. I`m afraid to go to the bathroom....
Status By: anonymous
Just realized the tooth fairy teaches us to sell our body parts for money!
Status By: anonymous
Had a super busy day today converting oxygen into carbon dioxide.
Status By: anonymous


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