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Funny Facebook statuses
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I`m not an alcoholic, alcoholics go to meetings. I`m a drunk, we go to parties.
Status By: anonymous
Cop: You been drinking? Me: No. Cop: Say the alphabet backwards. Me: Alphabet the. Cop: Hilarious. Say each letter. Me: Each letter.
Status By: Dorian
Sign said "WET PAINT" So I emptied my Dasani water bottle on it. I`m currently waiting on further instructions.
Status By: Dorian
Big shout out to nature for not giving spiders wings.
Status By: anonymous
parents logic: "Im in a bad mood. l think l`ll go yell at my kids so they`re in a bad mood too."
Status By: anonymous
If your plan A doesn`t work, don`t sweat it. The alphabet has 25 more letters.
Status By: anonymous
Girls eyebrows these days be looking like they got sponsored by nike.
Status By: anonymous
You drink too much, swear too much and your morals are questionable. You`re everything I`ve ever wanted in a friend.
Status By: anonymous
When Miley Cyrus is naked and licks a hammer it’s “art” and “music”... but when I do it, I’m “wasted” and “have to leave Home Depot"
Status By: anonymous
Who else used to think Courage the Cowardly dog was the scariest show ever?
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