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Funny Facebook statuses
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*When my name`s on a Math problem* Whole class: *Stares at me* Me: That`s right bitches. I bought 300 watermelons.
Status By: anonymous
You don’t need car keys to drive me crazy.
Status By: anonymous
When you open the front facing camera by accident and you look like a deformed animal with a triple chin.
Status By: anonymous
sorry guys I can`t answer all 0 text messages at once.
Status By: anonymous
A flickering street lamp on an empty street is the Universe`s way of telling you to run.
Status By: anonymous
Mom: Come down it`s dinner time
Me: In a few minutes
Mom:NOW!!
Me: Ok *downstairs*
Me: Where`s dinner?
Mom: It will be ready in 10 minutes!
Status By: anonymous
Imagine Alicia keys complaining in a super market... "THIS MILK IS EXPIIIIIIIIIIIRRRRRREEEEEEDD"
Status By: anonymous
That one person you see EVERYWHERE... but don`t know their name.
Status By: anonymous
Drunk people are the only honest ones left.
Status By: anonymous
I don’t care what your gender is, I’m calling you dude.
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