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Funny Facebook statuses
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My mom told me to follow my dreams. So I took a damn nap.
Status By: anonymous
End discrimination. Hate everyone equally.
Status By: anonymous
Sorry, I can`t today. My sister`s friend`s mother`s grandfather`s brother`s grandson`s uncle`s fish died, and yes, it was tragic.
Status By: anonymous
When I was kid, werewolves and vampires were scary. Now everybody wants to date them.
Status By: anonymous
Forgetting to bring your phone to the toilet is like forgetting to bring a gun to war.
Status By: anonymous
Volleyball is just a more intense version of "don`t let the balloon touch the floor."
Status By: anonymous
That scary moment when a little kids say "I`m going to tell on you!" -__-
Status By: anonymous
You`re so full of sh!t, Toilets are jealous.
Status By: anonymous
That "oh shit!" moment when you lean back a little to far in your chair and then gravity takes over!
Status By: anonymous
My mom always says, If you don`t have anything nice to say, don`t say anything at all..now you know why I don`t talk to you!
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