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Funny Facebook statuses

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Today’s Generation: “Omg my parents never let me have anything.” via iPhone.
Status By: anonymous
Nothing says “I hate you” like giving someone’s child a drum set.
Status By: anonymous
If you think about it, Batman was pretty lazy about naming all his stuff.
Status By: anonymous
I saw someone make a status of "I can`t wait until 13/13/13." Let`s take a moment and pray for this dumbass.
Status By: anonymous
Shut the fudge up. You little asstronaut. What the helicopters are u doing? You son of a batch of cookies! - That`s how you cuss a kid out.
Status By: anonymous
A guy in a mental hospital, placed two stones in his ears ..

The doctor asked him,
"What are you doing?"

he replied,
"I`m listening to ROCK music!"
Status By: Édrian
The Internet is a lot like ancient Egypt, people writing on walls and worshiping cats.
Status By: anonymous
I hate when girls see each other outside of work or school and scream and make these noises that only dolphins could understand.
Status By: anonymous
Was drinking at the bar, so I took a bus home. That may not be a big deal to you, but I’ve never driven a bus before.
Status By: anonymous
Do the Chinese realize that when they`re visiting America, they buy souvenirs made in their own country?
Status By: anonymous


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