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Funny Facebook statuses
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You can’t be ugly and play hard to get. It just doesn’t work that way. You’re already hard to want.
Status By: anonymous
Need an ark? I Noah a guy.
Status By: anonymous
If robbers ever broke into my house and searched for money, I`d just laugh and search with them
Status By: Eli
I`m not an alcoholic alcoholics go to meetings, I`m a drunk, we go to parties
Status By: anonymous
Friend: "Aww, someone needs a hug!" Me: "Don`t touch me."
Status By: anonymous
I`m not trying to impress you or anything but I can fly!
Status By: Roseanne
If you love someone, set them free... If they don`t return... Use your GPS tracking to hunt them down & beat the shit out of em...
Status By: Dorian
Apparently it was a bad idea to ask Siri "What do women want?" She has been talking nonstop for the last two days.
Status By: anonymous
The people who make medicine clearly have no idea what fruit tastes like.
Status By: anonymous
I could be a morning person. If morning happened to be around noon.
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