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I consider "Not Dishwasher Safe" to be more of a challenge than a warning.
Status By: anonymous
So when is this `old enough to know better` suppose to kick in?
Status By: anonymous
anyone celebrating anything today? Anything at all... doesn`t matter what. I just need something to drink to.
Status By: anonymous
Huh, So you are telling me that these straps on the side of the mattress are for moving the mattress? And not for what I`ve been using them for all this time?
Status By: anonymous
My fitness goal is just to get down to the weight that I lied about on my drivers license.
Status By: anonymous
When I see people jogging outside I like to drive slowly down the road behind them blasting “Eye of the Tiger” just to give them motivation.
Status By: anonymous
Just once when they interview a serial killer’s neighbor I’d like to hear them say “Yeah, that doesn’t surprise me, he was a real Weirdo”
Status By: anonymous
Commercials are only good when I`m hungry or need to pee.
Status By: anonymous
There’s always that one person you regret giving your number to.
Status By: anonymous
Using "My Phone Died" as an Excuse Not to Respond to People
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