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Facebook statuses
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I`m not hiding anything, but stop looking at my phone while I`m texting.
Status By: anonymous
Why I try samples at stores: 5% I’m thinking of buying the product 95% I want free food.
Status By: anonymous
People ask me why I don`t have any tattoos and I say "Would you put a bumper sticker on a Ferrari?"
Status By: anonymous
"Shut up, you`re just 12." - Said the 13 year old.
Status By: anonymous
No Girlfriend November was a success, now for Don`t Date December, Just Me January, Forever Alone February, No Match March..... I got this.
Status By: anonymous
When Harry Styles and Taylor Swift break up she`ll write a song called, "I Went In The Wrong Direction."
Status By: anonymous
When life knocks me down, instead of getting back up I usually lie there and take a nap.
Status By: anonymous
I came up with a plan to help people with debt, it`s called "Don`t buy shit you can`t afford!"
Status By: anonymous
What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car.
Status By: anonymous
The most common phrase in China: "Hey! You look familiar!"
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